I’d like to preface this poast by thanking several people who would prefer to stay anonymous – discussions with them indirectly contributed to a significant proportion of the content in this post. These ramblings are supposed to summarise my own personal feelings towards the subject based on my experiences living in India.

I admit I have a vested interest in this subject – I went to school in India, and choose to idenitfy as a transgender woman, both in real-life, and on the internet. I usually refrain from publicising the fact that I am trans, for reasons related to embarrassment and safety. My primary motivation is twofold – to make cis people realise the hardships borne by trans people, along with making trans people (especially trans people from South Asia) feel seen and valid.

Presently, transgender people are often characterised by the presence of dysphoria, and subsequent medical regimens designed to alleviate it. As the term “transgender” is supposed to encompass a spectrum of gender identities – adapting the term in an appropriate cultural context is often challenging.

The term hijda (not hijra, which is the wrong transliteration) is often used to refer to eunuchs or homosexuals in India. I’ve heard people describe them as people who would simply dress up and bless auspicious occasions – even my own mother using the term to describe me! To be honest, I had never thought about this subject at length until recently. Yet, setting aside for a second the use of this term as a pejorative, I believe there is some degree of overlap between hijdas and transgender people (trans femme at least). But does this really matter? What if a hijda wants to identify as a femboy or a twink (or even a deracinated hirsute girltwink/boymoder)?

It is undeniable that gender identity is significantly shaped by sociocultural norms – as a result, different people internalise and subsequently express their gender identity in different ways, be it hijdas, or fa’afafine of Samoa or the kathoey of Thailand. However, does it really matter whether people fit within a rigid framework defined by a bunch of shrinks who want people to conform to outdated social norms? What good has Blanchard’s typology done except for giving rise to countless greentexts? Can these idiots even accurately describe what AGP(Autogynephillia)/ROGD(Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria) is supposed to look like?

Transmedicalists suck – both the ability to medically transition, and come out to people is a privilege not afforded to many people unfortunately. Considering how people gatekeep gender-affirming healthcare it would be ridiculous to make medical transition a requirement – even the UK does not require this for a GRC. There are surgeons in India monetising the misery of trans people, Coming out to people in India is fraught with difficulties as it is impossible to predict how people will react. There are countless instances of people being disowned by their families or sacked by their place of employment – treating trans people miserably is unfortunately perfectly acceptable in India.

Many people in (and from) India love to assert that gender non-conformity was accepted before the British came and left their imprint in Asia with Section 377. Yet zealots love to holler about how this is a ‘western thing’, before running off to selectively interpret religious literature in order to prevent others from eating bovine flesh – midwits who love to police what goes on in your bathrooms and your kitchens. They often forget that the societal moratorium on any form of discussion surrounding queerness is tantamount to repression, with no role models to look up to (except for an idiot who talks to other idiots over coffee). Believe me when I say I have heard the tales of Indian deities being half-man, half-woman; the depictions of anal sex on the walls of the Khajurao temple, descriptions of giving/receptive partners in the Charaka Samahita/Kamasutra – even if there is evidence that ancient Hinduism might have been accepting of alternative sexualities/genders, queer people are still treated as pariahs.

The Indian political and legal system has long believed in appeasing minority factions by means of vacuous gestures. They took their own sweet time to abrogate 377, yet are unwilling to grant queer people the right to marry, call queerness as an urban construct and proceed to appoint literal troglodytes to a committee which is supposed to improve the welfare of transgender people. People (even in the diaspora) are often bewildered to see trans people as doctors/engineers etc. – maybe they come from a place of ignorance assuming that the default employment option for them is sex work (it would also help if people stopped dehumanising people who engage in sex work); after all in India it is a sign of progress when a trans person opens a tea stall (yes, not even a shop) with a pitiful grant provided by the government who behaves as if they should be obliged by this act of noblesse. The stigma associated with being trans (often conflated for being a hijda in the Indian context) is significant enough that most people find it extremely hard to accept their loved ones when they come out to them – but can you really blame them if they value what other people will say over their own happiness? Why are hijdas unnecessarily vilified? They will give money to other hijdas out of pity, yet when their own kids come out to them they scornfully turn their backs on them after engaging in bouts of melodrama. Maybe if Sharmaji’s beta turned out to be trans…

There are queer people in India. Many hide, some emigrate, unfortunately some cease to exist. I simply came to terms with the fact that I could not be proud of my ethnic heritage as an Indian, and that I had to renounce it if I really wanted to come to terms with the fact that I was transgender. People often ask me why do I care, after all I ‘escaped’ and chose to tear up my OCI – well, the simple fact is that people are fed up of being silenced and are now realising that in the face of rising conservative attitudes in India, something must be done in order to protect the precious little freedoms we have. I’d rather live with a bunch of stupid TERFs than a bunch of people who merely pay lip-service to issues and make fun of me behind my back. Most Indians still think that being transgender is a fad, espouse gender-critical talking points – why would any trans person even want to interact with them?

This Reddit post is worth reading, and very similar to my own story in some ways – several other posts about this subject on various India adjacent subreddits shows how most Indians view trans people as some kind of freaks, who should be alienated from society. I condone whatever forms of harassment hijras engage in, but don’t you see – you people forced them to do this by socially ostracising them, they have no other means of livelihood! Why are trans people in India gatekept from entering public places, like the case in this Reddit post? This Reddit post is another excellent example of people being treated badly by unsupportive families.

Maybe I am a hijda. Maybe I am not. I don’t care about it and neither should you – quibbling over semantics is pointless. I want nothing to do with a country, a culture, a constitution which seeks to subjugate people like me.